we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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