She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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