haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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