I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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