i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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