you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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