had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize