the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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