Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize