Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?

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  (702): shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant? http://tfl.nu/i5gg
  Replies (8) Good night (449) Bad night (2701) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  you left your dildo in my car

  (516): View more from New York

  rules of finders keepers apply

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  (516): you left your dildo in my car (516): rules of finders keepers apply http://tfl.nu/0377
  Replies (20) Good night (3436) Bad night (1218)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.

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  (314): I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old. http://tfl.nu/qc6x
  Replies (19) Good night (578) Bad night (5476) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

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  (973): but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days http://tfl.nu/g4qr
  Replies (20) Good night (3740) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.

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  (970): Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/rgfe
  Replies (6) Good night (4378) Bad night (1444) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.

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  (407): Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents. http://tfl.nu/8i9e
  Replies (12) Good night (757) Bad night (2831) Order T-Shirt
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.

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  (234): If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again. http://tfl.nu/4l5p
  Replies (6) Good night (2769) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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  (256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z
  Replies (12) Good night (3319) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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  (814): DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen http://tfl.nu/glfa
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.

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  (613): I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another. http://tfl.nu/23d2
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (1815) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.

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  (214): The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero. http://tfl.nu/qcue
  Replies (11) Good night (3035) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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  (307): I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe http://tfl.nu/mnt3
  Replies (5) Good night (1778) Bad night (562)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.

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  (615): Please high five our old drug dealer for me please. http://tfl.nu/fpo5
  Replies (2) Good night (1521) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.

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  (203): In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window. http://tfl.nu/vk8f
  Replies (6) Good night (387) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there

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  (301): You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there http://tfl.nu/jnb5
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt

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