They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
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How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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