I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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