how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
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How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
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Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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