why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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