What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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