He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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