I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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