just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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