how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize