Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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