Only a mothe r could love this liver
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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