I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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