Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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