the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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