we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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