Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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