my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
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my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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