hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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