I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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