I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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