guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize