Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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