Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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