Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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