i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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