Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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