Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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