it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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