Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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