Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
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Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
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Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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