I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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