Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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