"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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