I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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