I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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