Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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