All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
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We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
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Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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