If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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