Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize