My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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